i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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