I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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