It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
