I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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