rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
