Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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