I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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