He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
