she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
