false alarm. still invincible.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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