He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
