He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
