i don't like sucking hair
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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