I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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