if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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