I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
