5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated