Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...