So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
only you would photoshop your dick
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.