would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?