no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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