ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
