got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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