so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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