Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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