is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
