please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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