i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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