how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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