He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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