Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
