Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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