she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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