This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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