Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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