That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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