so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
