do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
