when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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