Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
