You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
