he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
