I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
