Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
