My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
