two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
