There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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