I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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