ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
