how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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