Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
