If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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