i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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