I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
