It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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