mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just want nice things and good sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
