After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
