It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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