In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
