My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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