he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
