Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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