spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
