i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i am craving dick and cupcakes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
