Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize