sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
